Suddenly there was a line that had been drawn between us..and instead of standing together, we stood on opposite sides of that line.
He threw a rock, I retaliated by throwing a grenade. He shot with a pistol, I pulled out an AK-47. It got ugly....and bloody, and in the midst of actively hurting each other, we both continued to stand our ground. Two people who love each other more than anything and are committed to each other. Two people who wake up together, eat together, share stories, laughs, tears....people who travel together, who understand the other one's quirks, likes and dislikes.
Those two people were now on a battlefield standing facing each other, with strong resolve in their eyes and hearts.
I sat on the edge of my bed, while he stood by the door in a threatening move to "leave" unless I could surrender myself to the "being wrong". I refused. I felt like I had a full on metal rod shoved up my spine, that was not going to allow me to bend or be bent in any way, shape, form or fashion.
I'm assuming he felt the same way as he made the last gesture to get me to bend, before he walked out the door.
I sat there for a very long time...in shock that he actually left. He actually walked out on me. Why couldn't he just say he was sorry??? Why couldn't he just put his f'n ego down for one moment and realize that harmony between us was more important than who was right in this argument? Why couldn't he??? Why couldn't HE???
Then I thought of the state of myself in that moment. How resolved I was and how committed I was to my ego in that moment. To being right. To not being the "weak" one that would make the first step to put down my weaponry and instead hold out my hand to him...who I love...to say, "I'm sorry...let's get over this, shall we?". But in that moment....I couldn't do it. Not even to him, who I love DEARLY.
I sat there with my "resolved", "stubborn" self and it all became so clear to me....the "unrest" that exists in the world...in Palestine and Israel, in Iraq, in Mexico and the US...the world peace that we all want and why its so far away. A peace that we all so beg for and don't understand WHY people just won't stop killing, hurting and hating each other.
Hating people that they have never loved...people that they have never even had dinner with...never having seen so much as a smile on each other's face, people that they have never made laugh...people that they grew up being TAUGHT to hate? How can they put down their weapons and hate? How can they give up their "Resolve" to be "right"?
How could I ever see WORLD peace, when I wasn't willing to have peace in my own personal relationships? How could I ever expect Palestine and Israel to stop their fighting? How can I ever expect the unrest in Iraq to stop? How could I?
World Peace doesn't start when the world wars stop.
It starts at the most basic level: It starts with Me.
"Be the change you wish to see in the world" ~Ghandi
PS Yes I then made a call to Chris. :)
